1. Weightlifting commentator: “This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I
saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.”

2. Dressage commentator: “This is really a lovely horse and I speak
from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.”

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my
mother and father.”

4. Boxing Analyst: “Sure there have been injuries,and even some
deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.”

5. Softball announcer: “If history repeats itself, I should think we
can expect the same thing again.”

6. Basketball analyst: “He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t
like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.”

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: “Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of
the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.”

8. Soccer commentator: “Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like
they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.”

9. Tennis commentator: “One of the reasons Andy is playing so well
is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them… Oh my God, what have I just said?”