DirkaDirka.RedGriffins.org

This is somewhat hilarious yet oddly factual.

Turns out there are things that I didn’t learn in the Navy about this subject… I think I might have to screen the comments on this one.

From FOXSexpert: Are We Nip/Tucking the Wrong Places?

It is no wonder that, based on a lack of safety and efficacy data, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) has warned that the following “vaginal rejuvenation” procedures are unproven and potentially risky.

— Labiaplasty: Nip and tuck has taken on a whole new meaning, with many women wanting a "neat and tidy" look. Believing that their inner lips are “too large,” protruding beyond the outer lips, or asymmetrical, these women see their vulva as ugly. So labiaplasty procedures seek to change a woman’s external genital appearance – namely its shape and size. Most “improvement” efforts target the vaginal lips, with excess flesh cut and reshaped using a laser, scalpel or curved scissors.

— Vaginal Liposuction: Fat is liposuctioned from a woman’s upper thigh or lower abdomen and injected into her labia for a plumper, softer look.

— Vulvar Lipoplasty: Fat is removed from the mons pubis or outer labia for a more “aesthetically pleasing” look and contour.

— Clitoral Hood Reduction: Skin tissue around the clitoris is trimmed. One important note: this procedure can make this prime hot spot less sensitive.

— Vaginoplasty: Cosmetic vaginoplasty, or vaginal rejuvenation surgery, involves a variety of surgical procedures — for example, laser vaginal rejuvenation — that alter the vagina. Women seeking such surgeries want a tighter vagina that offers more friction. A surgeon creates this by cutting the vaginal muscles and reattaching them. Is it any wonder that critics consider these surgeries the Western version of female genital mutilation? (The desire for virgin-like tightness is one of the many reasons the African practice of female genital mutilation is performed).

— G-shots: Women seeking a more sensitive G-spot are going for this procedure, which involves a collagen injection to the front wall of the vagina. This G-shot is supposed to make the area more accessible and sensitive for up to four months. Yet there is little scientific evidence to back the claims. There have been no double-blind placebo-controlled studies have been published on this procedure.

Check out FoxNews’ responses for a good grin.

Judge sentences man to clean War Memorial with Tooth Brush!!  
Judge must have been a sailor.

Because I’m a man , when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
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Because I’m a man , when the car isn’t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I’m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, “I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.” We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
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Because I’m a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You’re a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.

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Because I’m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like “cumin” or “tofu.” For all I know, these are the same thing.

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Because I’m a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

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Because I’m a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator instead.

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Because I’m a man, there is no need to ask me what I’m thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so just don’t ask.

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Because I’m a man, you don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t . . . and if you are feeling amorous afterwards . . then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

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Because I’m a man, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not make your butt look too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas that did that. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

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Because I’m a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I’ll do the rest. Like wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message for women to better understand men. .